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Note: this program is most intended for men who are trying to overcome major challenges like mental and physical health issues, addictions, self-sabotage, and feeling deeply stuck in life. However, I will welcome anyone and any one issue if he is willing to truly do the work on the deepest level. Just know that this isn't a quick-fix, easy program. This is a deep dive to actually solve the challenges you face once and for all, not just put a band-aid on them.

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Powerful Yet Kind

 

I grew up torn between two conflicting sides of myself: one was kind and caring, and the other was powerful and intense. I thought the two couldn’t exist in the same person. Every example I’d seen of a powerful man had, at some point or another, seemed to misuse that power, and it had led to someone being hurt. Some of them were even men who were otherwise very kind and good, but lost control of themselves in one moment and became a little bit scary.

 

The choice seemed simple: I could either be kind or powerful, heart or power, not both—so I chose the heart. The price of doing that was to cut off a large part of my authentic, emotional self, and ultimately, my masculine essence. 

 

As I grew up, I gravitated more toward women. I didn’t entirely trust men, so I didn’t have many guy friends. I had some relationships with women, but they never seemed to work out. Either I unconsciously picked a partner who could never love me right, or she couldn’t trust me because I was too needy and dependent on her for approval. I was a people-pleaser who was afraid to tell the truth and who had no real center of self because I didn’t even really know what a center of self was. I knew what my purpose was, but I was too ungrounded and in my head to really make anything happen with it.

 

Essentially, I was soft and weak. And although there are good things about being soft in the right moments, most of it was not an asset.

 

So I decided to do something about it. I studied, I read, I observed. I did therapy and coaching and dug into every self-development and transformational method I could get my hands on. I retrained my brain and rebuilt my health after many years of extreme illness (see the About Me page for more on that). I tried things out and made mistakes. I approached women, started businesses, and mostly just failed and learned and applied my knowledge to try again.

 

I went into the depths of hell and faced my darkest shadows alone. And I did it while facing a chronic illness that almost killed me.

 

I started to paint a picture of the different kinds of traps men fall into. I saw how many men get stuck in a half-life of just working enough to pay for beer, video games, and porn. How many are completely cut off from their masculine essence to the point that their partners, if they’re lucky enough to have them, often feel unfulfilled or that something’s missing. And how many others overcompensate in the other direction by becoming super-aggressive and inauthentically masculine. 

 

This third group, the "overcompensators," gives us most of the examples our society holds up of the “toxic masculine.” Ironically, the first and second groups are the types of men that society seems to prefer, if it had to choose, but none of these types represents a fully alive, healthy man.

 

Thankfully, I didn’t get stuck in a shut down state, or go too far in the other direction and try to overcompensate. I did the real work that I can show you how to do: having the tough conversations where you tell hard truths, feeling the feelings of shame and grief that are buried beneath the surface of your conditioning, taking daily action steps toward your preferred vision of life.

 

So although I can help men in a wide variety of areas, the biggest theme it all comes down to is this: I help men to be their most authentic, powerful selves while remaining connected to their hearts and their kindness. In other words, powerful yet kind. The result of that work, when done diligently and consistently, is men who are strong and capable and achieve the things they want, but are also able to communicate their needs and desires, connect with their partners, and have more emotional depth and genuine enjoyment of their lives.

 

I didn’t have a teacher who taught me all this; I pieced it together for myself from many sources, and some of it is just from my own lived experience. So it took me a while to put this together. The difference for you will be, you’ll have me. Even though a part of a man’s journey is alone, you won’t have to do this all alone. You will have a warrior brother at your side to help you forge your own legend.

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And let me tell you, it will be incredible. 

 

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If you’d like to schedule a time to talk about this program, please email me at forgingyourlegend@gmail.com, and we will get started.